Beattitudes of Marriage ~ 9 Simple Steps to a Healthier and Happier Marriage ~ Mark Gungor

Beattitudes of Marriage ~ 9 Simple Steps to a Healthier and Happier Marriage

by Mark Gungor

Last Octoberish, a couple at church approached my husband and I, about forming a life group.  We are in our 40's with young kids at home, and they are in their 30's with young kids at home.  Some of the open life groups at our church are for the older generations (50 plus), and most of them are for the younger groups (20's ish, singles, no kids).  We just couldn't find one that we "fit" into.  So we formed one of our own.  Or we are trying to, I should say.  Anyway...  Mid's with Kids...  Yes that is us.  My husband, being a military man, was familiar with Mark Gungor and they used to use his seminar Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage, in military couples retreats/ enrichment things.  So being the dutiful husband, he pushed us (YES pushed, I'm not a big "let the military take over every aspect of my life" person) into getting Gungor's group study materials for the group.  

In doing my "homework" about Gungor, I found that he was going to be giving a seminar, live less than an hour from here, and the tickets were more than reasonable.  So I reluctantly signed us up.  Don't you just LOVE how mysteriously the Lord works?

There is nothing about this mans work that I don't like.  I was so hesitant sitting in that church in Fayetteville.  Gary had showed me some of the Youtube clips, they were short, and I really thought this guy was a jerk.  Live, though, you got it all.  The banter in between the segments.  The true character of this man comes out.  And he is truly a treasure!!!

I don't even know why I picked this book up in the lobby during intermission.  We are "teaching" the class, I really don't think we "needed" the seminar for US.  I started laughing right off the bat, and did not stop until the seminar was over the next day.  But picked the book up because I thought it was "cute".  It is cute, AND it's awesome.  Mark Gungor never misses the mark, the book, he wanted to do it like a children's book, simple, with pictures.  

Mark never fails to shoot it straight.  Comments like:  "Want to save yourselves thousands of dollars in marriage counseling? Want to avoid the need for professional counseling in the first place?  GET SOME FRIENDS!!!"  and one of my favorites in this book "Apparently, yelling at the depressed is not particularly helpful - who knew??)"  "(Apparently, wives can still yell at you even while they are whispering.  Again, who knew??)"

He brings the easily overlooked, 9 simple steps, of common sense right back to in your face.  

I love this book, GET it, and READ it, and read it again, it's good stuff.  

The Mark Gungor Show His radio show is every Monday.  He will answer questions that you email to him. 

BeAttitudes This is the book on vimeo, where he does it Live.  

God Is Able ~ Priscilla Shirer

YES HE IS!!!!

This is my first encounter with a Priscilla Shirer study, book, article.  One of the groups at church that I tried out one night was reading this book.  I picked up my copy then.  That would have been back in November maybe.  I have struggled with this book ever since.  I made myself finish it this week.  I put it in my pile of daily work, and forced myself to read a chapter each day until I was done.  YEA!!! I'm done.  

Ms. Shirer has taken two verses, Ephesians 3:20-21 and spent a whole book breaking these two verses down.  This book, obviously, was really hard for me to read.  For the first four chapters I kept asking, "when are you going to get to the point".  It was Chapter 5 before I got anything out of the book that I could use.  Chapter 5 asks, "Is there anything you are not vocalizing to God in prayer because you think it's too insignificant to bring up? Is there any issue you feel would be too big a waste of His time to request?"  This was a light bulb moment for me.  We are supposed to be strengthening our relationship with God when we pray, and what could do this better, than by sharing the little things with Him too.  YES, He is already aware of them all.  But conversation with Him, requires you to be open about all things, even those itty bitty minute things that only you think you care about.  Share it all with Him, thank Him for it all, praise Him for it all, and ask Him anything, He won't say no, unless you ask, and He might just say Yes!!

Later on in the book, Ms. Shirer explains that God will only give you what you can handle.  This was a great visual for me.  If you only have the capacity to store a thimbles worth of God, then He will only give you a thimbles worth of Himself.  If you can only handle a bucket load, then you will only get a bucket load.  So come to Him with the capacity for more of Him, and He will give you more of Himself!!!!

There are a few more good nuggets in this book.  So the book is worth the $9.  And I do have to admit that I had just finished teaching a class on the Full Armor of God by Dr. Larry Richard, in which he totally breaks down Ephesians for us, so I am probably not "open" to the dragging of the two verses in this book.  It came across more as a novel, and not like what I expected.  I suspect that the right brain's would like this book, much more than my left brain did.  

So, overall, for me, I have to say, I'm neutral on this one.  Not a bad book, but not a great one either.  

Take God at His Word ~ Dr. Kregg Hood

Heritage United Methodist Church in Van Buren, Arkansas, has begun a Capital Campaign.  Heritage is reaching so many people that they now have 3 services every Sunday morning.  They are considering adding a 4th service, because there is just not enough room.  Heritage, with it's 175 years of history, is growing at such a rapid rate, that they have moved up their 5 stage plan and are raising money to pay off stage 1, so they can start phase 2.  

Phase 2, consists of a multi-purpose facility that is large enough to seat comfortably, I believe they said 1400 people during a service.  Over the course of the next 6 years they will need 5.7 million dollars to complete this project.  

One of the things they have done is to share this booklet with the congregation.  Each family received a copy.  

The booklet is designed to be read by the family.  One chapter per week of Lent.  And is four chapters long.  Yes I know, I don't follow directions very well.  IT'S AN AWESOME BOOK. 

Before I finished chapter 2, I was making sure my tithe (I was a little behind) was up to date.  I recommend this book to EVERYONE.  I know I thought when we got the book, "yea, yea, another book on giving, just what I need".  WELL, YEA, I NEEDED IT!!!!

Giving, is, what it's all about.  If we can't give from our pocketbooks, then do we really know how to give.  I give my time, yes, that's really all I have.  Being a stay at home mom, blog writer, student, teacher, I'm not "earning" any money right now.  But, that doesn't get me off the hook.  My husband, makes money, he makes a good living, because God lets him.  God set all that up.  God's hand is all over it.  That money is Gods, and he allows us to have some of it.  It's the least we can do, is give the tithe back to him. (Did I really ever think that I would say that before now... No... Not really)

This book is good stuff.  I want to share a part of it:

"Make the following three specific decisions, no matter what your financial situation might be, and Satan will fail.  God will ensure your success because He is the Source of your blessing!"

Decision 1 - Give to the Lord this Sunday.  (I changed that to Today, cause we do ours online, and I got it caught up!!!!)

Decision 2 - Give to the Lord every Sunday...  (the more you "routinely" give, trains your heart to open up to giving more). 

Decision 3 - Plan to give "tithes and offerings" (plan for them, budget it in, give God His first!!!)

"Give to the Lord first... It teaches that giving the first part of the crop as it came in was a sign of trust in the Lord's provision"  (If you don't trust God's promise to provide... where are you, really?)

This little bitty booklet, that took all of an hour (or two) to read, totally changed my way of thinking, my way of looking at things.  AND there is so much more in here that you just simply have to get your hands on a copy and read it.  Share it with your family.  Your friends.  With everyone!!!!

Bible Question of the Day

Bible question of the day:

Matthew 7:6 "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible
"Here the phrase is used in a metaphorical sense; and is generally understood of not delivering or communicating the holy word of God, and the truths of the Gospel, comparable to pearls, or the ordinances of it, to persons notoriously vile and sinful: to men, who being violent and furious persecutors, and impudent blasphemers, are compared to "dogs"; or to such, who are scandalously vile, impure in their lives and conversations, and are therefore compared to swine"

Question: All the "commentaries" that I have found say basically the same thing, don't share the Gospels will those that can't appreciate it. If we are to share the message with everyone, than we have to share it with everyone. Is there another meaning for this verse, that I have not found?

Please feel free to comment here, or email me directly at jrpodgurski27@gmail.com.  

40 Day Lent Challenge

I may be off the mark here just a little bit, but I have decided this Lent season that I am going to give up an additional 30 minutes of my day, and devote it to the Lent Challenge as listed on Margaret Feinberg's web page.  She is challenging us to journey with her through the Gospels a little each day.  She has a unique (to me) way of going through it, and I invite you to join us.

I am going through Ms. Feinberg's Fighting Back with Joy study in my Monday group, and am rapidly falling in love with this woman's work, and approach to life.

40 Day Lent Challenge

4 Keys To Hearing God's Voice ~ Mark & Patti Virkler

Just completed this 10 session DVD study with accompanying Book and Workbook.  

This study leaped off the church library's book shelf at me.  Absolutely leaped.  And I took it home.  I told my Tuesday study mate that I was going to start this one, and she jumped at doing it with me. 

This study dives into the Left brain vs. Right brain aspects, and this cleared up a whole lot of things for me.  Having to analyze things and explain things tends to bog me down and hang me up "most" of the time.  This study helped me see that those times that I hear things in my head it's not my crazy self, it's God trying to talk to me.  

This study, helped me to work through my hiccups, hang ups, and stumbling blocks, so that I can focus and get inspiration directly from God.  He talks to me all the time, I just never realized it was Him, and never tried to figure out what He was trying to say.  If your at an impasse and not able to "focus" on the things God is trying to say to you, I recommend this study.  

There were a few things I disagreed with Mr. Virkler.  I felt that he was applying boxes to everything, and we don't fit into boxes.  No - one is the same.  We are all different, unique, and precious.  What works for him, works for me, but may not work for you.  I got a whole lot out of this study, and think you will too.  

Recommended highly.  

4 Keys 

Key #1 - Recognize God's voice as spontaneous thoughts which light upon our mind.  

Key #2 - Quiet yourself so you can hear God's Voice (Be Still)

Key #3 - Look for vision as you pray. 

Key #4 - Journal (Write) your prayers and God's answers. 

On the website for Mr. Virkler there are tons of free stuff that you can utilize in this study.  Business card size reminders, wall paper, and just oodles of stuff if your a stuff person.  

Intentionality

in·ten·tion·al·i·ty

inˌtenCHəˈnalitē/

noun

1. 1.    the fact of being deliberate or purposive.

   
   
2. 2.    the quality of mental states (e.g., thoughts, beliefs, desires, hopes) that consists in their being directed toward some object or state of affairs.
3. 
   

This is absolutely my "NEW" catch phrase, buzz word, go to thought.  You name it.  

I'm participating in several studies through my church and on-line, and I keep hearing this word over and over.  

Mark Gungor, in Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage, "intentionality".  He doesn't have a great relationship/marriage because it just is, it's because he has intentionality of purpose in ensuring that his wife is loved, and that his marriage is great.  

Mark Virkler's, 4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice.  Some of us can't just hear God talking to us, some of us of to "intentionally" work at it.  

In Acts it says that Paul learned to be content, not he had prayed for contentment and God granted it to him, but that he learned it.  This indicates an intentionality in purpose to "learn". 

In my Monday class, Fight Back with Joy by Margaret Feinberg, we are learning how to find Joy, and utilize Joy.  But I have noticed that some in my class just don't see that they have Joy in their hearts.  They have suppressed it.  Some have even drowned it without realized it.  

Gifts of the Holy Spirit

I Corinthians 12: 7 The Holy Spirit is given to each of us in a special way. That is for the good of all. 8 To some people the Spirit gives a message of wisdom. To others the same Spirit gives a message of knowledge. 9 To others the same Spirit gives faith. To others that one Spirit gives gifts of healing. 10 To others he gives the power to do miracles. To others he gives the ability to prophesy. To others he gives the ability to tell the spirits apart. To others he gives the ability to speak in different kinds of languages they had not known before. And to still others he gives the ability to explain what was said in those languages. 11 All the gifts are produced by one and the same Spirit. He gives gifts to each person, just as he decides.

Fruits of the Holy Spirit

Galatians 5:22-23 tells us, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” The fruit of the Holy Spirit is the result of the Holy Spirit's presence in the life of a Christian.

When we accept Jesus as our savior, when we believe that His truth will save us, and restore us, and deliver us from evil, He infuses us with the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit indwells us, and remains in us.  He guides us, and convicts us, and loves us completely.  He also gives us the gifts listed in I Corinthians 12.  We don't all get all of these gifts, we do not all get the same gifts, but we do get gifts.  

AND MORE... if we ask.  I wondered for a long long time why I didn't "know" like other people did that I was filled by the Holy Spirit.  I wondered why I couldn't hear God.  I wondered if I was just going through the motions.  I joined my daughters confirmation class, because I hadn't had that opportunity as a 6th grader.  A grown adult sitting in the corner with 22 6th graders.  It's quite funny looking actually.  But I'm learning quite a bit about the history of our church, and about Methodism, John Wesley, and a bunch of other things.  This class breaks down the Apostle's Creed and dives into certain parts of it each week.  Our Pastor's wife, Allyson leads the class.  And she told the kids one day, that the Holy Spirit is in all of us, but to get the gifts, we have to ask Him for them.  We have to ask Him to turn them on, we have to ask Him to come alive in us, we have to surrender to Him, listen to Him.  THIS we have to do "intentionally".  It doesn't just happen.  

God created us with free will, the freedom to choose.  God wants us to come to Him, to surrender to Him, to seek Him.  Not just once, but always, often, daily, every minute of every day.  In order to do this, at first you have to have intentionality. We can choose and accept, believe, surrender, but He doesn't take over once we do this one time.  We have to intentionally keep doing this over and over and over.   

I have been told that if you do something every day for 30 days it will become a habit.  How is one to do something every day for 30 days?  They must intentionally think about it, they must intentionally remind themselves to do it, they must persist with intentionality!!

If I intentionally seek the Lord every day, He will intentionally be with me every day.  In order to use the gifts of the Holy Spirit, I must intentionally ask Him for these gifts, and intentially use them.  In order for the fruits of the Holy Spirit to be mine, I must intentionally as the Holy Spirit to plant the seed of that gift, and then I must intentionally water that seed with the Word, and nurture that seed, with intentionality in order for it to grow.  

There are many great and awesome sites and blogs that can help you cultivate your gifts and your Joy with intentionality:

7 Things You Need to Know

7 Ways to Cultivate Joy

How to Find Joy "IN" Suffering

Bible Verses about Joy

These are just a few to help you get started if you are lost and unaware of the Fruit of Joy that God has given you.  I would also recommend that you talk to someone, ANYONE, that will listen.  I am more than willing to talk with you.  I am not a therapist, psychologist, or licensed anything.  But I can be a friend if you need one.  jrpodgurski27@gmail.com. 

AND I recommend Fighting Back with Joy by Margaret Feinberg.  Go to her website, and sign up for her daily emails.  SHE is an awesome and inspiring lady, who has overcome a lot, through Joy.  She has daily inspirational emails that almost always are something I need to hear.  AND as always, knee-mail to God, talk with Him, build your relationship with Him.  Talk with Him, He will respond.  Sometimes He will yell in your head so loud you can't focus, if you just let Him.  

INTENTIONALITY:  doing something deliberately, with purpose, repetitively, in order to achieve an outcome or state of mind.  

Out of Gas?

I heard a guy on the radio this weekend, as we were flying down the road on the way to Little Rock for our Pastor's retirement ceremony from the Arkansas Army National Guard.  I wish I had gotten his name so that I could credit him correctly here.  IF anyone knows where this came from please let me know and I will revise this post to show proper credit.

The story he told just answered a whole lot of questions that I know some people have.  The man spoke of an airplane reported in the news (this part is true I think) that was left running, as the pilot got out of the plane, he hit something (I have NO clue how plans work guys) and the plane began to move, and took off by itself.  (Okay, this sounds a little crazy, and implausible)

However, the plane was flying along just fine for a while by itself, until it ran out of gas and crashed into the ground.

The Pastor on the radio used this as an analogy to answer the question/statement:  "I have always had good things happen to me, why do I need Jesus?"  He explained that we can go a long time sometimes with nothing bad ever happening to us, this doesn't mean it's all okay.  At some point, without Jesus, we WILL run out of gas, and crash to the ground.  AND even an atheist will cry out "Oh God save me!" as he's crashing to the ground.

I just loved what this man said, it just made so much sense.  And just because we have Jesus, does not mean that bad things won't happen to us.  It just means that we have someone on our side when they do.  Jesus has our back, and gives us comfort, guidance, and love, so that no matter what does happen, we have the tools to handle it.

I'm reminded of the movie God's Not Dead that came out last year.  The scene:  A son and his mother.  He says: "I don't even know what I'm doing here.  It's not like you even know who I am.  You prayed... and believed... your whole life, never done anything wrong.  And here you are.   Your the nicest person I know.  I am the meanest.  You have dementia.  My life is perfect.  Explain that to me."

The mother, who hasn't said much the whole movie, and what she has said is confused, disoriented, and repetitive, then responds:  "Sometimes the devil allows people to live a life free of trouble, because he doesn't want them turning to God.  Their sin is like a jail cell, except it's all nice and comfy and there doesn't seem to be any need to leave.  The door is wide open.  Then one day time runs out, the cell door slams shut.  And suddenly, it's too late." Then looking at him she says:  "Who did you say you were?"

The Holy Spirit spoke through this woman, and the truth of what she said just sends chills up my arms, even now thinking about it.

I suppose the moral of this story is look at your life, are you one of those that will run out of gas, and cry "God save me" or will you be the one that stays in that comfy cell until it's too late?

Are you Happy?

A Testimonial

I was 27 years old.  I had just experienced my 1st divorce.  I was "alone" for the very first time in my life.  There was home with mom & dad, then college, then marriage, and THEN... alone.  Of course, depression crept in, work started to suffer, there was no social life.  I moved out in the middle of no where, so there was no chance of meeting anyone.  The people at work were all married with kids, and didn't want to hang out with "bad karma".

I turned to the internet, it was a very very new thing then, met a few people online, gutsied up and met some of them in person.  But nothing ever came of those interactions.  So the depression grew.  I was miserable, pure and simple, miserable.  Totally and completely miserable.  This lasted for a few months, my job suffered, my confidence was gone, I was on a downward spiral into nothingness...

Then one day, I realized, I didn't like me.  It didn't matter what you thought, or what he though, or what they thought... I DIDN'T LIKE ME... and how could I expect anyone else to like me if I didn't like me.  I set upon a course to change the things that I didn't like, matters not what those things were, the principle is what matters.  I decided to become someone that I liked.  I found Joy.  I know now that this came from God.  But it all opened up for me, when I attended a conference through work, and this saying has been with me ever since.

     "Decide to be happy, knowing it's an attitude, a habit gained from daily practice,
      and not a result or payoff." ~ Denis Waitley

Those 20 little words changed my life.  I took it one day at a time.  "Daily practice" it said.  Each morning I would wake up, I would put that smile on my face, and a smile in my heart, and it was no time at all before I knew happiness.

Folks, Happiness is a decision.  Pure and simple.

Life is nothing but decisions...  and there is no middle ground on any of them.

Are you happy? This is a yes or a no question.

Do you know joy? This is a yes or no question.

And guys listen to this closely, if you say no to happy, then by DEFAULT you are saying yes to angry.

If you say no to joy, you are by default saying yes to bitterness.

If you say no to Jesus, you are by default saying yes to Satan.

It is NO clearer than that.